Movie Review: Friday the 13th Part IV- The Final Chapter

The Friday the 13th series is one that isn't really...that good. Now I will admit that Jason and his hockey mask are pretty cool, and can respect the series for what it is: about 10 hour and a half films of gratuitous murder and even more gratuitous nudity. Possibly (and probably) combined. Now the first two films are actually pretty good, as cheap exploitation flicks go- they aren't short on tension or shocks, and I actually consider the 2nd film to be one of the better slasher films. However, beyond that, the series takes a steep slide down a hill covered in cow pies. While 3 was nothing special, the fourth installment is more worthy of a verbal riffing. So here goes.

The film starts off where the previous one left off (making it take place on what, Saturday the 14th?). We see Jason get carted off to a hospital morgue. We're briefly introduced to two nameless meat puppets- a nurse and an orderly- who proceed to start screwing. And if there's anything that can wake up Jason from beyond death it's sex out of wedlock! Obviously he ends the two rather quickly. Probably saving the hospital a considerable amount of money for the amount of work they must be getting done (considering they're casually f***ing in an unlocked room). I also want to point out that I'm not sure what the orderly was watching- it seems to be a weird cross between porn, a workout tape and a music video. It fails at all three as it's neither erotic, good for your cardiovascular system or particularly rocking.

Anyway, we cut to two separate story threads. Crispin Glover and his douchenozzle friends are taking off to rent a cabin, and Corey Feldman, his sister and his mom are living at a cabin nearby. Neither group of people is particularly interesting, what with Feldman being an annoying little bastard and Crispin Glover, well...Maybe I should just show you.





Anyway, Crispin and pals head to their cabin after making pointless contact with Feldman and family, and promptly break out the beer, pot, and what I can only guess are silent era nudie films. I'm guessing after a few six packs of Old Mil you really don't give a damn what you're watching. And surprise, surprise, our old pal Jason shows up to butcher these heathen youths! Truly, Mr. Voorhees, thou art a servant of the Lord!

Meanwhile, back with the Goonie, we find Corey Feldman...not doing much. He has a dog named Gordon, which isn't funny by itself, but gets much funnier if you shout Brian Blessed's "GORDON'S ALIVE!!!" anytime he's onscreen. We only really come back to his story thread later in the movie, when Feldman and his sister are holding Jason off. Which really gets weird when Corey Feldman shaves his head and- I don't know plays on Jason's psyche with an image of- oh, f*** it. I don't know what it means, but I do think it was pretty funny that Corey Feldman of all people wasted a guy who waded through teenagers like they were rain puddles. And then Jason is apparently dead. BY. COREY. FELDMAN'S. HAND.

There are a lot of scenes in the movie that seem to try and play off Corey Feldman's character as some kind of boy genius- he "is getting pretty good at" making latex masks and can apparently fix his family station wagon with nothing more than a screwdriver. But seriously, I'm just not buying what they're selling.

And frankly? In this series it's not half bad. The expected amount of brutal kills, boobies, and bad acting all show up and...it delivers what you expect. On the other hand, all movies beyond the 3rd were stupid, formulaic slashers, so...whatever. It's not remotely scary, but it has some redeeming values played as a campy (no pun) comedy.