For the purposes of this post, I'd like you to imagine me (however you imagine me looking is your business) hunched over, hands out like I'm clutching mystical orbs, growling my words with a permanent scowl. This, my friends, is the metal stance. It's your one-way ticket to midnight, to break the law, to ring Hell's bells. And I'm going to list the ten most metal games ever produced. If you prefer to read this in Strong Bad's voice, please do.
Oh, and Brutal Legend and Guitar Hero Metallica don't count because they were specifically designed to be Metall-riffic.
10. World of Warcraft (PC/Mac)- This game may as well exist for the sole purpose of giving you something to do while listening to DragonForce. They're enjoyable in the same over the top high fantasy mode, so you may as well mix them together.
9. The Bilestoad (Apple II) Reaching way back into the archives, we find this old top-down game where the only objective is to put an axe in your opponent. If that shouldn't be done while listening to Judas Priest then I don't know what should.
8. Temple of Elemental Evil (PC) This flawed gem takes place in the classic Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting of Greyhawk, and lets you run the classic ToEE module, where you'll fight everything from giant rats, spiders and frogs to Zuggtmoy, the demon god of FUNGI! Guh-guh-guh-yayah!
7. Legacy of Kain: Blood Omen (Playstation)- This game starts with your death. Soon after, you become a vampire, and soon after that you find out you can restore your health by drinking blood. Think vampires are sparkly bishonen? Kain will set you straight. And then kill you.
6. Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse (NES) If ever there was a game that deserved an Iron Maiden tie-in album, this was the one. Not only featuring the awesome, headband wearing Trevor Belmont, this hardest of Castlevanian nuts to crack also features a playable ninja-pirate and Dracula's own son, Alucard. The challenge is well worth the high probability of broken controllers.
5. Golden Axe (Sega Genesis)- This game is like a metal album cover in motion! As either a roided-out Warrior, scantily clad Amazon, or...a dwarf, you beat up giants, skeletons, and dudes in bondage gear while riding a fire-breathing chicken. And isn't that what heavy metal is all about?
4. God of War (PS2)- You've got to love Kratos. A sociopathic, despicable, completely irredeemable bastard of a protagonist. He's gonna kill some gods. And get some sweet lovin' while he's at it. The generic Lord-of-The-Rings ripoff soundtrack is best replaced with some Pantera.
3. Splatterhouse (Arcade, TurboGrafx-16, Sega Genesis)- Rick Taylor has to save his girlfriend. To do that, he puts on a hockey mask and punches his way through a mansion of abominations that would scare Dr. Mephesto. He punches knives. He punches chairs. He punches a guy with chainsaws for hands. Nuff said.
2. Diablo (PC)- A game full of ambient creepiness worthy of Black Sabbath or Electric Wizard, Diablo finds you leading your character into the depths of the catacombs of the town Tristram. The deeper you go, the more horrifying the demonic hordes get, until you finally face the big bad himself, El Diablo. You go head to head with Old Scratch himself in this epic battle of good vs. evil. The sequel ain't too shabby, either!
1. DooM (PC, every other system known to man) You knew it was coming. Was there any doubt? The game where you pretty much destroy Satan and all his little wizards. Yes, you destroy Hell. With chainsaws, shotguns, and the almighty BFG 9000. There's not a lot I can say to convince you otherwise.
-Chad Morelock
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